Bertha is snarfing…..

Bertha has made an observation. The current government shut down is much like a family picnic, only the family happen to be the dems and the republicans. One family member whom we can blame for much of this fiasco wants to do away with caca. The dreamers who are fighting for access of all items on the buffet are getting met with stiff nips on the toucas. The dems want them and their extended family members to have access to the BBQ, the potato salad,  and dessert, while the republican relatives say NO. Republicans want them to have access to the lime Jello that nobody likes or wants. The dems are giving an ultimatum, they will take the lime Jello, provided they get healthcare for babies, Medicaid for granny, spending for the military and full access for caca.

The fiasco in chief has said he wants his wall along with full deportation of all caca dreamers. That is like saying he wants the buffet and the Pepcid that will follow, but not give an inch on any other food item unless caca is taken off the table. Let’s be clear here, the whole issue is CACA. There is no in-between, and no amount of Charmin will change who is allowed to use the latrine and the sink, blow dryer, and soap. In the mean time, we have grandma’s getting tossed out in the street once their Medicare runs out, and Medicaid gets taken off the table. The middle class and working class are still getting screwed by the lack of decent wages and healthcare that was part of this buffet. Why? CACA. The fiasco in chief wants the rich to get their 18 and 19 taxes prepaid, which according to the IRS is illegal, not caring if those in San Juan are still without water, electricity, aide, nada. He just wants his wall that separates his share of the buffet from the dregs he wants to leave to the masses.

We have laws that have been on the books to enforce immigration. Nobody wants to upset the buffet by telling one part of the family, NO, while the republican side is happy to not just say NO but assist with the physical removal of the debris. This is much like making an appointment to hold a spot in line, to be told, it was given away. They know how to make the reservation, they just can’t hold the reservation. So now it is a caca reservation issue. You can look at the buffet, smell the buffet, we will even let you dream that you can eat the buffet, but you cannot use a fork, knife, your hands, nor any other utensil to get that food into your mouth. In fact, you cannot have the food that is sitting on the table in front of you.

Bertha is snarfing. Because neither side can come to the table without creating mass chaos, shutting down and off items sheep and humans need, (especially in a deadly flu season). Everyone gets the trots. Soldiers who have given up life and limb cannot get access to watching football, TSA must grope and search you without so much as getting dinner and drinks first, pubic monuments and parks are off-limits as that could cause some to assume they have gotten access to the buffet. Bertha wants to be able to travel, get groped, visit the statue of liberty without having to worry she will get sent back to the pen. For those who don’t know Bertha is Irish. She and puppy had to go thru heavy paper works to allow them to become Americans. She had to become a transgendered sheep, and puppy had to get placed on the horny pedophile list that has been caught stashing and fondling fruit and produce. Yet, both are seen as legal Americans who can move about as they please. Why? Neither tried  to bring in family members without going thru the change, nor use innocent males to get green cards, produce maybe, but green cards NEVER. Yet the fiasco in chief may still see them as undocumented and try to ship them back home. Does it matter the fiasco was married to someone who herself was not legal at the time of her modeling tenure? No. Yet Bertha and puppy could still risk deportation because some yoyo on fiasco’s staff does not know legal from illegal.

Is it an ethics question or moral issue? Puppy can romp fruit and produce, but he can’t stash and carry on an aircraft. Bertha can travel, blind everyone with her implants, yet still get a slap and tickle session if she shows off her toucas. So is this the result of caca? Many would say yes. Sheep know what we had to go thru to remain in this country legally. We made the ultimate sacrifice. Yes, the family jewels had to go, the wigs had to go on, eyes had to cross, wax had to be used to remove our fur and dammit, we had to learn how to drive a stick. They could not give us an automatic, we got the stick in more ways than one.

This is why sheep and puppy refuse to go to family gatherings, too much harassment, too little access. Until the family BBQ can be dealt with so all sides are happy or at least given balance if not access? Laxatives are a good option without access to bathrooms or Imodium. In other words shit or get off the pot, decide who gets the Lime Jello and be done with it already.


Bertha Blames Trump for Tax Audit….

Bertha is snarfing, aside from trying to beat this human flu bug from hell, she was informed she will be audited. Bertha is sitting on her divan, Kleenex sticking out of her nose, eyes running, boobs hanging sideways, as she tries to gather her receipts for her tax audit. Apparently thanks to Donald Trump, what she was told she could use for deductions, does not fly with the IRS.

Puppy enters the room, grabs his produce and begins sorting thru the rash of papers, items, toys, and crudité platters. Apparently nobody at the IRS found it amusing that he tried to list produce, a bleach bottle, mop or melons. Had they been listed under meals, he might have gotten a partial deduction, but romping, rolfing, having a go with anything that does not belong in the back-end, does not constitute meals. hamsters on the other hand, are considered deductions for Med students, as those require their skills for removal. Puppy the ever insistent beast that he is, is researching ways he can list his stash.

Bertha, tried to list her usual suspects, inflatables, inserts, wax, tanning beds, glasses, contact lenses. Of those, only the contact lenses, glasses were considered legit. They fall under medical. But trying to maintain her boobs, tushy, tan, wax, just don’t cut it. Unless during the lopping of the family jewels things somehow got removed, boob maintenance is not considered a taxable event. Word to the dames with inserts, gals, that new boob job isn’t medical, its vanity.

But her teeth, feet, and any other part of her anatomy was up for grabs. As Bertha struggled trying to sort the documents, she kept whining, her nose was running like a faucet, and she was trying to open those damn child proof cold med packages. Sheep can’t open things like humans can, hooves only get you so far. Puppy took the bottle and between his teeth and paws was able to open the package. Of course in doing so they flew around the room and one ended up down the toilet. Bertha wasn’t going to let a pill escape so she dove in head first to get her nose stuck. She got the pill and like a champ was holding it up like a gold medal. Puppy grabbed her by her boobs and eventually the popping noise ended up to be her head, not the implants.

As Bertha continued to go thru her documents, she came across the item that Trump states was legal to do for 2018 from 2019. Yes, we are talking about those taxes the rich and greedy were trying to take advantage of. Apparently when she and they tried to get their 2019 and 2020 taxes dealt with the IRS had enough and said NO. Thus the audit. How in God’s name can anyone predict what their taxes will be for future years if it has not occurred? Bertha looked at her Ouija board and snarfed. Apparently the good board does not speak to the tax gods.

The IRS was specific, nothing that one uses for vanity, greed, doctoring your financial books is acceptable. That sort of takes care of most of the rich and famous doesn’t it? Bertha argues that if Kim Kardashian can use her behind for a tax deduction, Bertha should be allowed to use her boobs. If Donald can play hide the salami and use his insults and twitter feeds for tax deductions, along with the massive insults, crude behavior, Bertha too must be able to use her tushy inflator. In Trumps case, the IRS knows they can’t arrest the bastard because if they do, and he isn’t working, they can’t collect. Does that make him any less guilty? Hell No. The man is a tax cheat. Kardashians are an animal unto themselves, and in the eyes of the IRS are seen as mostly plastic and non beings. Now, if Kim chose to try to sell her ass, or tits, then she might be seen as a human capable of paying taxes.

This just makes Bertha snarf even more. Bertha is half implants, did get her lopped off and her eyes crossed, that had to count for some sort of medical expenses. Trump says if it can be deducted for 2019, go for it. Um, Donald, your laws don’t fly. Now, there are people we would like to see get caught, strung up and flogged in public. But that would mean most of your family, and in-laws. Folks, taking the advice of someone whom the IRS would like to see turned from a financial rooster to a hen, locked up, forced to eat spam, clothes from Wal-Mart, isn’t someone you want as your guru. If Bertha got an audit, and this dame is pretty sharp as to what flies and what does not? Humans are in for a world of hurt.

Bertha, we know you will do the right things, list what is legal, and puppy will find a better way to use his produce. Has he tried spanking the monkey? It’s not quite as fun as carrots or melons, but it gets the job done. It is legal, a little naughty, and gets that za zoo thing going. Your collar is ok, as it is necessary, can be used for those randy nights on the pont du gar. Donald, your collar isn’t going to fly. Unless you chose to lop yours off, and become a monk, sorry dude.

Bertha we snarf with you, understand your pain and wish you the best with your cold and audit. As for the rest of those who refused to listen to local and state offices? We tried to warn you.


Men Behaving Badly….

Bertha needs to address something with men. NO matter what your little general is begging for, unless a woman agrees to salute, the answer is NO. Apparently some men didn’t get the memo, or chose to ignore it. Matt, Harvey, Donald, Al, Bill. We know Bill isn’t on that list at present, but we need to keep him on his toes and off his feet. That’s what they said. lol.

Sheep understand, as far back as childhood, men are told be macho, go for the gusto, if it is there, grab it and hump it. The problem is, it wasn’t the bleach bottle, produce, trees, hell anything that was stagnant. They took this to mean, if it had tits, a toucas, wasn’t beaten with the ugly stick, HUMP IT. Well, up until now you have gotten by with this, and even puppy is disgusted. If the little guy humped as much as you all, we would never see him and he would be blind. Instead he gets his ya ya’s with produce. Nothing like a good romp with carrots to get a good morning started. According to him, it serves two purposes, not only do you get your rocks off, you have a nice crudité platter for later.

Bertha likes to be groped, she likes to be humped, but there is a time and place for it, and unless she has given the green light, steer clear of her. You may end up losing your manhood, and walking and talking like a dame. George is that you? Kidding George, we know you were a man of your word. Every time Bertha turns on the news its a new perv who got it caught.

Guys, remember the old adage, you have two hands? Begin introducing them, from now on if you so much as look at a female wrong, or breathe on her? Oy, slap and tickle will take on a whole new meaning. If you are not bitch slapped one way you will be another. Either way, women have it out for you. You have been warned.

So what caused this, not enough time with the mop? The bleach bottle not doing it for you? If you are anywhere and someone even thinks you are entertaining performing the hamster dance, you have trouble. If the little guy needs to break loose, find the nearest piece of produce and have a go. We won’t tell. Sheep don’t care if its melons, oops, we used her nick name, or carrots, squash, just don’t let the hamster out of the cage. Hell if there is a nice bottle of Tide around, use it, abuse it, we don’t care. Just keep the little guy out of the public’s view.

But that didn’t stop some men, as they still had to get their ya ya’s on. The prairie home pervert was accused of being kind, patting a woman on the back, and wham! Now he is public enema number one. The Horror. Matt we knew was a little letch, and Harvey was a horn toad on the make. Conyers we think wasn’t really trying to make a grab, he was just trying to recall what it was used for, that it could be used, was proud of that fact and insisted on showing it off to his associate. Sadly for him, she was not as impressed. Did that make him a pervert? No.

Russell Simmons, also caught with the hamster out of the cage. In his case, the guy got a bad wrap from his ex-wife. He got reamed that way and was trying to remember how to do that again, with someone who gave a damn. Russell, the problem was, you should have given the girl a chance to say NO, or Not Tonight. Oy, how the mighty have fallen.

They are falling literally on their swords, and it’s no longer a laughing matter. If they so much as look at a female she is liable to slam him with a harassment suit. Sheep feel for men, we even have felt men up, down, and everywhere in between. But there is a time and place. Donald doesn’t care if he openly discusses his indiscretions in public. The key here is not to discuss anything with the words pubic in public. They need to add him to the list of gropers and sinners.

Ladies, he isn’t worth it, trust sheep. The guy is a toad, he is a slime doggy, who makes Bill look like a saint. Yes we said that. Bill likes women, got caught with one, and even admitted to liking cigars, but OY GAVALT ! Donald openly talked about how women were so easy, how he could grab them by the kitty and they would service him. That wasn’t one he was talking about unlike Bill, that was plural. Sure, Bill got his toucas caught in the bleach bottle with Hillary, (bad choice of words), But Donald admits to groping any female that moves. He degrades them in public. Bertha wants a go with him, not to please him, rather to give him a sharp bite in the hamster den. She is totally disgusted by him.

Guys, you make your brothers look bad. You are grown beings who should know how to treat women. At least buy them dinner first before grasping at melons. Kellie Ann is looking around, who me? Sarah you have a chance to fix this, run, throw on your Nike’s and Run. Don’t say you were not warned. Don’t come crying to Bertha if he makes a grab. What were you beaten with the ugly stick? No you were not, ergo, you are not safe. Run!

As for those who still insist on doing the hamster dance in public, who insist on showing it off to whoever will pay attention? One word, DON’T. If you need to express yourself, that is what the bleach bottle and mop are for, what water melons are for, just don’t bring it around women without an invite. NOW, and invite isn’t your interpretation, NO it is not. Unless you see her giving a green light and she is wearing a catcher’s mitt? I don’t think so. And you say sheep are perverted…..The Horror!

Educating Trump….

Yes, you forced us to do this post as clearly Trump needs to understand there are certain things you can’t do or say. Even sheep when we blog are careful not to insult those with disabilities, etc.

Homer, you just cannot use terms like Pocahontas, it is derogatory and insulting to Native Americans. That is like those morons who say that all Italians are mafia dons. Donald, you insulted the twerp from North Korea, which he is going to use to ignite a war with the US. There is only one thing you can do with the Native Americans. Apologize. I know its hard for someone like you to admit you were wrong. Do we have to flog you with squash before you see how wrong you have been?

Sheep have been known to use terms that can take double meanings. What we do to preface it is to let the readers know this is SATIRE. You were serious. Big difference. Sheep apologize to anyone who has ever taken offense by terms we have used, but to get a message across, sometimes you have to use satire and humor to get people to take the stick out, rose glasses off, and look at the bigger picture.

Donald does not know the difference. He has no sensitivity ship. The guy could be cut open and they would find necrosis instead of a heart. As for a soul, well, we know that is missing as well. Sarah, to defend your boss is one thing, but to defend him when he insults people who already have issues, by that we mean land issues? You can’t.

Sarah is one of those dames who would defend someone even if they committed the Kennedy assassination. NO dear, there is no fixing this other than to claim he misspoke, apologizes and hope they accept. Oy, we know Rocket Man is already too far gone to accept anything. Roy the Putz is a pedophile who will never see the error in his ways, and your family? Don’t get us started.

We know when W made comments it was Bush speak. We took his cocaine abuse as a reason for his lack of intelligence, but Donald? Unless he was snorting cat droppings? He has no excuse. This is the result of his relations with KKK members and skin heads. That isn’t the kind of thing POTUS are supposed to be saying, even in private. Did he not see Dances with Sheep? NO dear you don’t insult them. You don’t insult anyone of ethnic background, race, or species. Just don’t go there.

Is there medication for this? No. Not even a romp with squash could undo the mess in his head. Yes, take that as you wish. NO romping carrots, melons, nada can undo this. There are suppositories that can extricate the evil out of him, but do we really want that to happen in public? NO. There are brownies that can be baked and given with a similar effect. But unless he eats a pan of them, or uses a whole box of ex-lax? It won’t change him. His eyes might cross a while, but they will uncross, much to our unhappiness.

So how do you undo damage from something like this? If Melania uses the cast iron fry pan enough, something might rattle loose. But that should not be used in the bed room as he may take that as foreplay. Ditto spanking the monkey. No he needs something really tough enough to undo that ca ca that has nested in his brain. Until then, my fine, Native Americans, Black Lives Matter, etc. Sheep are sorry for our POTUS’s inability to own a sensitivity chip. He has buffalo chips, but not a sensitivity chip.

Homer, you are on Santa’s naughty list, and if you keep at this pace? Reindeer droppings will be dropping on your head. NO HO, HO, HOES. Those go to Bill.

Bertha’s Adventures in Debit Card Fraud…

Yes it is that time of the year when people go crazy over shopping. They are not paying attention to detail and become victims of credit and debit card fraud on their bank accounts. By the time the issue becomes known, it is either time to spend hours on the phone trying to defend oneself against the accusers, banks and third parties who were also victims. The other option is to freeze the account, and open a new one. Bertha had a very humorous adventure when the bank notified her of massive over drafts on her bank account, had to respond to the claims rep.

Bertha received a notice in the mail from her bank. According to their records she had over spent her account in the hundreds, and now had to pay restitution along with those damn fees that accrued as a result. As she racked her brain trying to find receipts to unscramble this financial mess, her bank called her. The claims adjuster had no idea she was a transgendered sheep, so the questions were very obviously going to have negative responses.

Bertha had not purchased items that a human would use. She was a sheep. No she didn’t donate to Donald Trump’s legal team, was not going to give to support crazies in North Korea, and had not tried to buy concrete to build a wall. As the list grew on, a pattern was emerging. Clearly her account had been hacked by someone in the White House. Someone went to great pains to follow her to the stores, pay mall dwellers money to spy on her and obtain her credit card and debit card information. We could see Ivanka, as she was a known shopaholic, but whomever bought the concrete for the wall had to come from higher up. Don. Jr. could have been the culprit who paid the mall dweller to spy on Bertha, and the mall rat who hacked her card number might have been one of the staffers from the Trump Campaign.

The items in question became more obscene. No she had not bought off senators to get them to cancel aide to poor and middle class families, give tax relief to the middle class and working class, nor pay off Donald’s docs who have diagnosed him with onset dementia. The money was growing, and the trail was becoming even more so. The claims adjuster made a list of those whom had been near Trump who could have obtained Bertha’s card information. Bertha snarfed. Bertha was prepared to go nuclear. Nobody got the better of a sheep.

Some funny items appeared as well; had she bought a G-string, or dental floss that posed as a bra? One if she ever used dental floss for anything other than her teeth, she might strangle herself. As for the G string, she already knew those were just wrong, and left the hamster to do the hamster dance in public. As she isn’t into rodents, much less them escaping, the answer to both was a loud snarf!

The claims adjuster was beginning to get a clearer picture of who the victim was, and began to show a kinder side to her. Still the idea someone got ahold of her information, used it for their personal gains didn’t sit well with her. Like Hillary, Bertha had become a target for Donald. Was it the Christmas blog? Did she go too far? Could it be the KKK references? Didn’t matter, she wanted her money back and was prepared to have a full on investigation and go public.

Puppy was asked if he had purchased and foreign produce? Such as a three-piece squash, which was intriguing to the little guy, but he could only handle one at a time. Bertha however was willing to have a go with it. How bad could it be? It reminded her of a politico who was schitzo in that department. Bertha would try anything once, but no, she had not purchased this. What about latex? Define rubbers exactly, puppy could have had more use for them than Bertha, but again, the answer was the same. NO!

So the items were getting pieced together to see who was the most likely culprit. Donald kept coming up, and we knew he was already in bed with the Chinese and N. Koreans, so that might explain the produce. So are we speaking of actual produce, or something else? Bertha is smiling. She will never tell. Hacking a transgender sheep is worse than hacking Hillary or an election. Once you get on the shit list of a sheep, there is no fixing it, no going back. Those who dared to cross Bertha know what we mean.

So the claims adjuster kept up with his notes, investigation which we now know is ongoing. What the final outcome will be is anyone’s guess, but we know Bertha will be exonerated, at least in part, and reparations were in order to replace funds stolen from her account. With elves watching once again we know who will end up on Santa’s shit list as well.

As for Bertha, she is sitting back with a cup of Earl Grey, watching the crazies fight it out on Black Friday, snarfing as two men fight over the lamb scaping tools on sale. We find it both humorous and sad that humans will find anything to argue over, to get something first, get the cheapest price. Warning to those men, if its made in China, you may get more scaping than you bargained for and end up a transgendered sheep? Just saying. Ditto for that face cream which claims to remove wrinkles, it might work in certain areas, but do you really want to have your behind pulled that tight? OY! OUR EYES !!!


Oy, Melons is Defending Trump and Moore….

Bertha is fuming. Melons is defending Trump and Roy Moore. The Horror! Bertha is appalled that anyone could defend groping teenagers, and she is into it. Bertha loves a good game of groping, playing try to catch her, and even grope and rope her. But an old guy trying to cop a feel from teenagers is just sick. Yeah we know he was in his thirties, which is still considered ILLEGAL in all 50 states.

Bertha wants to point out a few things. One this guy didn’t play hide the salami with a grown woman, he went after teenagers, minors. He stalked them while they were in high school. The guy could not get women on his own of his own age, so he went after little kids? Sheep have a word for this….PERV. Apparently the guy does not know the meaning of the word NO. Try and cop a feel with Bertha and she will give you the what for. She is snarfing mad.

This is one of those times a cold shower, bleach bottle, and produce would have done wonders. But this guy thought produce was too good for him. Bleach was for sissies, and throwing the hose on him was not good enough. He needed to grope kids. Nobody in their right minds defends this, unless you are related to Cletus, who lives in the back woods, does his sister, the dog, mother and father. Banjos play in the background and you see pick up trucks with dogs with a haunted look. Yeah, they might think this was just peachy. Guys if you think that sort of behavior is acceptable, there are jail cells for people like you. You get all the free groping you want, but not by women. You might get your behinds kicked, you will see produce and even a guy named Steve.

As for Trump not denouncing this guy, should we really be surprised? From his comments about grabbing kitties, stating they beg for it, and he can have any cat he wants is proof he too is a DOG. Puppy, we don’t include him with your species. We are talking about the kind of men who would screw a lamp-post if he got by with it. Cats from the hood are looking at sheep and hissing. NO way would they have anything to do with that pig. He might lose the family jewels, salami, become Donna instead of Donald. But No cat we know would get near him except to spray him.

Melons clearly has either been one of the Kitty clubs that Trump speaks of. Or she has the goods on him and is waiting to come out of the closet. She might be a he, nothing has been proven to say otherwise. How else would a female defend either of those pigs? For sure it is proof both men are unfit for office, and its time to neuter both. No, this isn’t a mad sheep, or one who was refused. Bertha isn’t that kind of dame. She knows a Kur when she sees it. We know a drunk when we see her.

If this is what humans have to look forward to, ladies you know how to treat this. Tell those men to get use to shaking hands, as it’s as close to sex as they will get. Introduce the right to the left, making it clear they will never see you naked. Bertha is snarfing. She likes that. As for the accusations that women lie about getting groped by dirty old men? No, it’s the men who lie, women know the difference between what is legal, with permission given and what is trying to cop a feel and copulate with them. The first part of that word should scare most men off. If they grope you , yes Virginia you go to the police.

Oh, the naughty list just keeps getting longer. Santa has some prizes for you losers. Be afraid, be very afraid. Melons, you are a disgrace to your female race. It has to be the bleach.

Bertha’s Adventures With Black Friday….

Bertha has been around the block long enough to know at some point she has to avoid Black Friday. Still the thrill of the hunt keeps luring her in, just as the lunatics are in the head of Donald Trump. On the night before the BIG EVENT, she prepared her strategy to get in, get the targeted items and get out without too much biting and weave wars. The best plans of mice and sheep.

The first event occurred as she was attempting to purchase Preparation H. You would think this would be a safe item, but given the many women and men who use it for bags? NO. The yelling and screaming and grabbing for the last tube became one for the books. Yells of ” I need it for my toucas!” and ” It is cheaper than another night with Donald.” These could be heard around the store. Bertha dove in, biting her way thru, getting kicked in the teeth by Melania, Ivanka, and Ivana. The weave war was on. Bertha flashed them, then the others flashed back. It became a war of the boobies.

Ultimately Bertha won out, much to the disgust of the other women. Then came the search for wax kits. Sure enough the same dames showed up and once again it was off to the races. Bertha needed a full on wax, while Ivana and Melania needed just a stache job. But there were men who were into lambscaping and wanted it for the issues down below. Yells and screams were loud and pronounced, but Bertha came out with it in her teeth.

You would think by this point she would just go to Amazon or Ebay and avoid such confrontations. Sheep are not good with typing. Their hooves and nails get in the way. This is further proof we have not yet evolved, but are still living in Donald’s dark ages. The Issues of fighting over clothes, shoes, and make up didn’t thrill her. This dame wants the items so obscure, only first ladies can relate to. Valium to get thru the long nights, and pompous eves with guys who drag them into dinners. Prozac to get thru the long-winded lies of their mates. “Sure honey, I was just having them assassinated because they didn’t like me.” How many times have we heard that one? Oy! Or our favorite: ” It wasn’t me, it was Cheney.” Yeah, tell Bertha et all another.

Bertha is a simple gal with fabulous taste, and knows when it is time to flaunt them to get what she needs. In the boudoir aisle, were the sheets. Bertha can’t sleep on silk or sating as she keeps falling off. So the war of the sheets was on. Swiping at Ivana for the 400 thread count was something she had only dreamed of. Swiping at Ivanna at all was the real dream, but the sheets were the icing on the cake. Bertha was heard yelling at Ivanna; ” Shouldn’t you be going for the bleach? The carpet should match the drapes?’ This time Ivanna won out, and Bertha had to settle for fake silk, not quite as slippery as the real thing.

Now for the coute de tat, the aisle with the bike pumps. Bertha relies on a good bike pump to keep her implants in place, and her toucas from going flat and swinging sideways. For some sick reason, puppy was in there, having a dance of the eyes with Bertha. Puppy was into a lot of weird stuff, but this was a first. Was he at that age where he needed a little help, or was he just in it for the ride? Either way Bertha wasn’t giving in. Puppy had to settle for the large bleach bottles instead. Apparently Donald has this issue too. Hmm, so that is where he disappears to.

The produce was next to be assaulted and both Bertha and Puppy went for it. Hey, a sheep has to do what a sheep has to do. So what was Melania there for? Was she into groping? Nah, that was Donald. Carrots? That was what Donald wasn’t there for, so it’s a possibility. No, and she was into gluten-free and vegan, two things Bertha avoided at all costs. Bertha pointed to the great outdoors. It is the place all vegans eventually find themselves. Buying for Donald? No he was into the shot guns and super glue. That wig has to be kept on at all costs, or risk him and his balding head revealed. Our Eyes!

Bertha emerged with her new bike pump, tassels for her ta ta’s, Preparation H for her toucas, and wax for fur jobs. raw knuckles from assaulting those who got in her way. Nothing comes between a sheep and it’s naughtys. Though slightly leaving with a limp, Melania came out with her items, Ivana without her bleach, and Ivanka without a harness. At her age as we dames all know, something has to keep em up. All cursing Next year they go Amazon.

What did the men in the house go for? They are still hoping for that healthcare bill, tax bill, impeachment, and good attorney’s. Keep waiting, at least two of them will come true.