Bertha Prepares for Eclipse, Backlash….

Bertha is preparing for the eclipse, along with backlash from the Trump administration. Bertha wants to remind the public, free speech has not gone away, even when we point out the obvious about POTUS. The moment Donald refused to outright decree the events that led up to Heather’s death? He was giving the wink-wink, nudge – nudge to neo Nazi groups, KKK, and skin heads. No Mr. Trump, there is no defense regarding your refusal to call them out.

Trump is already feeling the effects of the eclipse, by those in his own party. By making those comments, lack of comments, refusing to admit his own racist leanings, he created the level of eclipse, even that which is occurring on the 21st. something more dangerous than he could have imagined.

Calling the victim of the hate attacks, one of the terrorists, he single handedly slapped the face of her parents, family members and those who respected and loved her. Free speech was her only crime, Declaring those filled with hatred for anyone not lily-white, was her right as an American. Trump et all robbed this woman not once, but repeatedly. There is no defense Homer. This time, you could face impeachment.

Bertha and others have researched this and are finding that any POTUS who does not speak out for all people, in a neutral, not just bipartisan manner, that does not defend the safety of those who gather with a permit, peacefully, using free speech? You abused the office for which you bought. Sheeprants will not defend anyone who so callously tries to give the oops excuse for events that lead to the deaths and injuries of others. You Donald did just that and worse.

As for the political fall out, the writing is on the wall. NO senator worth his salt will ever support you or your actions as that is political suicide. You sank your own battleship. As for the rest of the world that is watching, they can only shake their heads in disgust.

Switching gears….

Bertha plans to prepare for the eclipse not just with glasses, but with her full on chemise, lounge pants, her best Louboutains, implants, waxing, bras with tassels. This is her moment to howl, her chance to shake it sister and let the fur fly. Puppy has packed his stash of produce, for a full two minutes of romping with carrots, bopping the schneckle, and boffing anyone who gets in his way. Secret service and Homeland Security, have nothing on this canine. If caught, he will deny the entire incident, plead the fifth, down his scotch and smoke one of his Cuban Cigars, in a full on Sharon Stone. Both are chuffed, ecstatic to be able to let them breathe, without the threats of ” For God Sakes Myron, Put your Pants Back On.”

We suspect Trump will be having to shake it too, though without the garters and lace, rather attorneys that must remind him he is not above the law. Bertha’s ratings have gone thru the roof, while Homer’s? Oy you should have done what mothers for ages have pleaded. If he didn’t have anything nice to say, say nothing. Alas poor Yorick, he failed to listen to his mother.

Now, whether other groups will choose to abuse this eclipse for further damage to humans, robbing them of their moment in history will be the question. Bertha reminds us, this isn’t the wild west, so no scalping the White man. Survivalists this means no shooting anyone whom you don’t like, including the dog. Yes, puppy is on their list along with Bertha. No Zieg Heil, at the time of full on change.

This should be a time of frivolity, happiness, a chance for all mankind to come together in peace, levity. Sheep look forward to moments of peaceful acceptance, clinking glasses of champagne, diet soda, hugging our neighbors, and newbies that have entered our world in peace. Alas, we know someone will do something evil, just to get their 15 minutes of infamy. To them, full moon on the rise, and it might be Bertha’s.

Donald, your Hood is Showing….

Oy is it us or has Donald finally come out of the closet? Where to start with this guy, well, here goes….Bertha is snarfing again. Yes she watches the news and knows you have been mouthing off at that little cocker roach from North Korea, that was bad enough. But attacking those who were defending themselves against the KKK? Really?

When someone asks you if you denounce the behaviors, you say of course you do. But the Putz decided to swing both ways, meaning he has finally come out of the closet. Is it any wonder nobody wants to play in his sandbox? Seriously Donald, the robes and swastikas don’t match your attire. They clash with that mouffa you have on your head.

Bertha thought Dick Cheney et all were bad until you came along. Even your own flesh and blood are embarrassed for you. Thankfully the bleach gave Ivanka a sensitivity chip to denounce the behaviors of the KKK who attacked the innocent. But you? When media asked if you supported David Duke, and you said nothing? Trust us Homer you spoke volumes by what you didn’t say. We already knew you hated Mexicans, anyone from the Middle East who didn’t have a hotel or golf course with you, China, Russia. But to blatantly remain quiet is beyond the pale.

But that wasn’t enough, now you have pissed off most of North and South Korea, Guam, the air base in Guam, and most of the US. Is it that time of the month? Is that what it is? Not enough roughage? Not getting any from the MISSUS? The schneckle not getting any? Even George Bush with his broken English, and faux pas, knew not to piss off or support the KKK, certainly not to come out of the closet as you have.

Bertha and puppy  know about your stint in boarding school with your skin head mates. Oh they sported designer attire, came from mega rich, right-wing homes, but the swastikas and hoods were still very visible, and there was no hiding them. Homer, when your fellow republicrats tell you hide the swastika, they don’t mean the salami. You have cost them embarrassment, future elections, and they are abandoning the good trip flop pot in droves. Nobody with a brain will support a skin head president, no matter what party he belongs to.

Bertha and puppy snuck into one of those KKK rally’s just to get the dirt on who is who under those KKK robes. Puppy thought he saw you, but at the time he was doing heavy produce, and thought he was hallucinating. Nope, it was you, Ted, your cronies, David Duke, the Depends Brothers. You have no shame. The only thing you can do now is step down, take Pence with you, any Neo’s and just walk away. This proves you are not fit for office.

As for how to deal with Kim Dong Too Short, meh….send him an enema, throw him into a shwitz, and a stint at Gitmo. Bertha says no male likes the proverbial goose up the caboose, (except for puppy) and ruining that expensive hair cut in a shwitz, oy….The horror. The people from the middle east art looking pretty good about now eh Donald? The rowdy Wal-Mart grocery trips, the quiet nights in with family and friends. Yeah, real threats to man kind…..NOT.

Oy, Bertha has been trying to be polite, but you make it impossible. You open your mouth and you suffer from Montezuma’s revenge. Just a hint, when you see everyone going out of their way to avoid contact with you? When nobody places you in the fully sane category? Yeah, its time to pack it all in and just leave. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out and into a federal jail cell. Jeez, our own president committing hate crimes against his own people. Only in America, and only with rednecks waving the flag.


Bertha On Trump….

Bertha is sitting on her divan, legs in a very twisted pose, showing off her toucas  as she contemplates Trump. She snarfs, what she wonders rhymes with Trump? Rump, Da Bump, Frump, and Harrumph. We know she is on his shit list for Twitter, she referred to him as that laxative that just keeps giving. Oy, the putz just has no idea when he is making an ass of himself. She loves it.

Trump cannot get the idea his healthcare bill isn’t going to fly. NO senator, congressmen or woman will allow the public to suffer at his hands. He keeps trying to put lipstick on that pig, only to have the pig fart a veto. Sheep are not going to give up their ability to get implants, waxings, hormones, if needed reassignment surgeries. Lopping something off and saying sorry, ya just have to swing both ways isn’t going to work. They need to know which direction they are to swing, to and fro, or to remain a hormonal mess that goes on crying jags. No, wait, that is his press secretary, that ditsy blonde who can’t answer questions without coming off as a colossal pain in the ass. Just ask Georgie.

Trump can’t stop lying, firing people, calling people crazy, trying to bury facts. Homer, at some point you just have to admit you are a loser. He is trying to throw our girl Hillary back under the bus, and to take Bernie with her. Whatever did Bernie ever do to you? Is it because he called you a putz? Did you have to Google that? Or did he choose to state he is going to make another run in 2020? He may be older than you, but he sure isn’t senile. He knows what is what, who is who and tells the truth.

Our enemas in North Korea look at trump as if he is the female Hitler. They don’t take you seriously, refuse to be halted, continue to push boundaries. Trumps response? We are going to build a wall. Uh huh, it has to be senility. He has North Korea confused with Mexico. Do we see Mexico threatening to throw rice and beans, burritos? No, we admit they keep trying to sneak thru. But at what point have we ever complained about too much good Mexican food sneaking into this country? Yeah, we know about the gas, which is why sheep always carry Beano. And we know our friends who come in peace wearing burkas, occasionally who sport the Laurence of Arabia ensemble, and who do it well we might add. We know when they shop at Wal – Mart, they are there like the rest of Americans just trying to eek out an existence without violence. Do you ever see them mooning us? No. Trump moons people on a daily basis. No, his pants don’t come off or down, but its his mine is bigger than yours attitude that makes people laugh at him.

Bertha shakes her head when she sees Trump giving the nudge nudge, wink wink to those in his circle that cover for him. There is no cover for him. transparency is so blatant, all we see is PUTZ. Even companies are cutting ties with him. Uh No, we don’t want what he is selling, has become their battle cry. Now, those from the backwoods, who like Ted Nugent are hopped up on rage and racism, anger? They think he can do no wrong. Yeah and their wives and girlfriends are doing their best friends, the dog. Even our home fries know this dude has a few screws loose and needs to be avoided at all costs. Now, are we referring to Ted, or Trump? We will leave that one up to you. Now, we think that cat has scratched him one too many times. Again, are we referring to him or Trump?

Bertha is waiting for the trials to begin. She and Puppy have set up a private viewing section to watch Trump, his son and son – in- law, and others face the myriad of questions. He can’t say NO or risk impeachment, he can’t plead insanity, he has used that too often. What oh what will Mitch do when the Donald falls? Oy, we can see it now. The crying jags will be awful, the rats will flee the ship and nobody will take a bullet for him. Contrary to what he thinks, he is a one term, one time enema that people can’t wait to be rid of. The women in burkas are snickering. Yes ladies, sport them well, flaunt those come hither eyes, and know the sheep think you wear it well.

Unlike Cheney who by now would have started world war three, as a wag the dog, Trump is waiting to go to war when Kim Hung Too Low For Own Good, tries again. Bush Jr. is wiping his brow along with Obama and Hillary saying thank you Donald for taking the heat off of us. Sheep say you are welcome ladies. Even Bill is getting a good laugh, has climbed out of the dog cage and back to his amorata. They know Trump has become a cartoon, that feeds on racism, ignorance and arrogance. Wasn’t that what got Nixon?

Bertha is tired, she has a headache, and has decided to moon Trump in absentia. She has some great advice for Melania. RUN Forrestina Run! He can’t deport you or risk looking like the cad that he is. Girl you have him by his cojones, nicely done. Bertha is proud.

But we digress……



Bertha Needs a Word With Donald….

Ahem, Bertha is trying not to hyperventilate, however, given the latest twitters from Donald, she is ready to explode. Oy where to begin with this guy. Clearly sheep need to educate this guy in the fine art of the deal.

Homer, telling cops to abuse the public, criminals violates the rights and civil liberties of even the criminal. While stooge tactics is great for vaudeville, you cannot be telling the police to use vile tactics to land them in a police car, jail cell or other. Can you picture the lawsuits? But Homer said we could. No Bart, you cannot do this.

Then you have the issues with the transgendered in the military. What are we afraid they might fight over lipstick? Worried their pantyhose might get caught up in a bunch? Homer, when they are under fire by the enemy, trying to protect their fellow soldiers, lipstick and pantyhose are the last thing on their minds. If they trained, were proven to be fit for the uniform, combat, who are you to say No? Bertha is shaking her head in disgust. If their fellow soldiers don’t care if they had something lopped off or changed, what is your issue? High heels before cocktail hour? Girdles that hold in that iron gut? Oy the HOrror.

Homey, you need to get a grip, realize this is the year 2017, times have changed, and women and men have equal rights under the law. Notice sheep said men and women as sheep see all people regardless of gender, color, choice, race, equal. We do not suffer from anal glaucoma. Quit pandering to those who can’t get with the program. The pentagon doesn’t care, so naff off.

Now that you have decided to piss off the Mexicans, Chinese, anyone who isn’t lily-white, rich or constipated, we now have travel bans for those choosing to travel. Again with the glaucoma? Now, we do see the value of keeping out that reptile from North Korea. He isn’t balancing on all four wheels. But attacking all of those great men, women, children who want nothing more than a lousy burger and fries, go shopping aiding our economy, having a quiet night at home without bombings and gunfire? For shame.

Bart, its time to realize you don’t have the followers you assume. Oh you have those from the backwoods who still want to have kids with the family pet. You have a few from the business guys who are cheating on their wives, have multiple mistresses, cheat on their taxes, But the public does not like you. Puppy is giving the middle paw. Even the family dog is saying enough, we have seen too much, and don’t want those Rottweilers near us.

Bertha is mooning you, going full frontal in disgust. Your attack on healthcare was pathetic and transparent to block women from obtaining abortion or birth control. Would you block Ivanka? Didn’t think so. We know you tried with your second wife but she told you to naff off. Your healthcare bill is beyond the pale. Time for single payer, high wages and let people do what they need to do. Look what it did for sheep. Everything hangs evenly, no Botox, and we have that fresh from the toucas and tit docs glow. Let Bernie be your guide.

In closing, its time to take the hints from sheep. We have been around a long time, know how things work, and who is zooming who. Using Hillary as a wag the dog? Really? For sheep’s sake don’t get us started, that is for another blog.


But we digress..

Bertha, Alive and Kicking and Taking on Trump

Just when you thought Bertha had gone away, SHE”S BACK!!!!!! The old girl has been having issues with a certain block on her account. Ahem, Free Speech is still alive and well in this country and no amount of GOP dumb blondes  can stop us.

Numero Uno Donald, you made a huge faux pas. You bit the hand of the guy who albeit disgustedly backed you in your run for POTUS. You attacked John McCain and all POW’s. This is the guy you were trying to get a vote out of. Now you want him to vote on a plan that attacks seniors, middle class, poor, disabled, disgruntled, and other. You and your cronies still think you can strip them of their rights to healthcare as you rob them of their medicare and Medicaid benefits. If you won’t raise the wages of the middle class or poor, how can they buy into your health insurance? Hello? Lived out of a box much, had to survive on scraps or crappy wages, trying to feed a family of 4, attempting to pay for education,, rent, utilities and car payments? Didn’t think so.

Sheep have not ignored what is going on, nor have we fallen off the planet. We have been monitoring the mishegas you and family have been up to with Russia. “We are not crooks”.  Oy, if we had a pile for every time you and Donald Jr. denied your involvement? You would have a barn full, and in dire need of a shovel. Homer, you are not that dumb. Playing let’s ignore the questions and pretend you didn’t ask, or doing go arounds fools nobody. Bertha knows a con when she sees it. You can fool those who fell off the turnip trucks and backwoods without the education, but anyone with a brain, or who remotely has one knows you are full of crap. Must Bertha seriously call you out? Ok, the old girl is saying it. Donald do the country  a favor and just quit.

Donald, the world is watching you, your report card hasn’t been good, a borderline failure. Bertha knows you can’t get horses to drink if you take them to the sewer. What works in business does not translate to the real world. Ignoring details, the little people is not how to make friends but guarantees an enema.

While you and your cronies snort pate, the elderly, poor, middle class are struggling to get any form of healthcare. Denied access has become the norm. Throwing mom and pop into the streets and out of the nursing homes is not how you want to be recognized. Telling babies, sorry, you might be UN-Imerican we cannot help you. Ta ta. Don’t think so. As mean as Nixon was and as crazy as Dick Cheney is, they would not allow the poor and struggling to die needlessly. But the emporor, drama queen that you are? Hello.

We warned our readers, we would tell it like it is. No filter, sweet talk. Bertha is mad as hell and wants the world to know she has not gone away. Yes, we are keeping tabs on the white house. Yes we are paying attention to what is not said in the media. Want a twitter war with Bertha? Donald, we welcome it. Bring it. I can’t wait to see how the media spins it. Donald caught in a twitter frenzy with sheep. Details at eleven. Puppy is waving his cigar and giving the middle paw.

When you decide to raise wages to a decent, not decadent 15 – 20 per hour, you will be able to offer single payer. Yes Homer you can do this and must. Your current bills won’t fly, just like the I have no idea who was behind the Russia hacking scandal. Bertha and the public is waiting. You have a chance to be a hero, but continue to choose to be a PUTZ. Wake up and smell the pate. Puppy says that isn’t pate, it’s the dung left behind from your spin docs. Oy,

George, is wiping his brow and saying thank god the public no longer is giving me the finger, it’s all on Homer now. But sheep digress…..




Asking a GOP about Civil Rights..

Puppy wants to know isn’t asking Cruz what he thinks of Gay marriage, Adoptions a lot like asking what a pyro thinks of fire? Hello, they are bigots. But worse he for sure is the mother of them all. Isn’t it kind of hard to speak out of both sides of his behind? We have heard its like asking him, what does he think of pole dancers? Yes, we know it has many connotations, and yes we went there for a reason.

Bertha thinks anyone who does not know the constitution is for all, should not run for dog catcher, much less president. If anyone really thinks he would allow the gay marriages that have already taken place? I have land to sell you in the Sudan cheap. This is the same guy who is for allowing bears to carry weapons in malls, movie houses, bathrooms. Bath houses we could understand, not due to gays, but all of those rodents OJ used. Man if you didn’t get something from them, Oy!

Does Cruz know if he allows pole dancers equal rights, he has to offer his wife a bigger salary? yeah, we know a cheap shot. This yutz has no idea who will own him. He will have more chains on him than those from Roots. At least Roots ended, with Cruz it will be the longest leash of his life. His master will be Satan, sort of ironic when you think about it. Here he is a man of the robe and hood and he will have to answer to Cheney and the Koch brothers. Nobody wants that sort of relationship. Hey, he could have had the Saudis on his side, but NOooo, he has to be the biatch for Satin. Talk about the nightmare that keeps on giving. Paybacks are a bitch.

By the way, we hear the goat and George have bought a timeshare in the Baaaahmas . They want no part of this sick and twisted relationship. The goat is still in therapy from what they made him do. George still has nightmares, he hears voices in his head and looks behind doors and furniture. No amount of nose candy can fix that. Cruz will be main lining it once he is out of office.

We hear Laura went to Jamiaca, came back, moved in with the goat. She will not be voting for Cruz, that  would be too much like the last fiasco. Whether Ivanka will vote for him is up in the air, the dame always did like men of power, and if Cruz is under Cheney, or on top of him, behind him, that could be interesting. yeah, we are going there. Cruz brings out the sheep in us. We know, we are baaaaaaad little girls.

Does Cruz know if he gets owned by cheney and the Depends brothers, it means thirty years of bad luck? No amount of bathing or praying will change that. They could dunk him until he is blue in the face, but that would just get him put on their shit list for life. They don’t like folks of color. Not color, not race, and not people who swing both ways. Hey, you marry a pole dancer, if you are not swinging, you are doing other things. A lifetime of anal glaucoma, man nobody should have to live with that. Cruz, there are suppositories for that, its called the Saudi special if you go against them.

Trump knows not to go against them, he knows not to go against women either. He has three women in his life that could do him harm if he does. But since he was a democrat in his previous life he has a standing chance. He knows not to wear robes except for after bathing. Cruz, you need to lose the cotton. Seriously, that is just in bad taste. It is adding insult to injury.

We think he is the one who ordered that anti gay slur at whole foods. He or his pals. The question is how did he know that couple was gay? Hmmm? Already playing big brother? We know he isn’t playing big sister. But if they want to marry, eat cake, what is the big diff? Who cares? They would make better parents than Cruz or Huckabee, Romney. Even his daughter knows he wears the Boa. when your own kids out you its bad. When they out you on national television its just funny. So Daddy who is married to the pole dancer wears Pink, who knew? Hey, they can’t blame Hillary or Bernie for that one. his own kid outted the guy.

Ask him again, if he will go against the gay marriages? Um, when you wear pink boas, you damn well better say you are for gay marriage or you are just a freak. We don’t want to know how he gets his freak on. Trump, he just handed you the election. Say thank you. Do you think he goes to church wearing the boa? It would clash with the robe and hood, and they might ask him to leave. Hey, he is a betting man, we bet if he prays on it they will come.

Sheep digress, but if you can’t have fun with these guys, what is left? They have or are trying to take away drinking, smoking, drugs, loud music, Emminem, they don’t like olive oil, or sex, hate women, so what is left? We know, its their right to be bigots. If the shoes fit….

Bertha Hates Bullies….

Now sheep need to be clear, we are backing Hillary all the way here. That said, we don’t like bullies, guys who like to use swift boat tactics on people just to see the innocent cry. The folks behind Cruz are none other than the Depends Brothers. They like to make good people cry, create fake data to make their opponents look crazy, lazy, mean, mental, or just unfit for a job. This is what is happening to Donald Trump.

Oh, we are not happy about his stand on abortion, reproductive health care, attacking and going after doctors who are fighting to save the life of mother and child. Guys, even if you do everything right, bad things can still happen beyond your control. Few seek out abortions at late stages because they dislike the color of someone’s eyes. More often than not it is due to serious medical problems with the fetus. To want to treat doctors who try to save their lives, but still end up having to end it, like Hannibal Lector, is sick.

Sheep love babies, we have grand sheep. But even so, its not up to anyone to dictate how a woman treats her body. If she needs birth control so be it, if she needs an emergency abortion, hey, like we said, bad things happen to good people. Sheep are more concerned with how Trump will deal with the true culprits of 911. That’s right, Satan and Donald Rumsfeld, John Brenner, Koch Brothers. Is he prepared to go after them and charge them with creating the mother of all false flag attacks on their own people? Hmmmm? The victims and the families of 911 have been misled to believe it was Saudi Arabia, Iraq who caused 911. Oy have I got a camel to sell you in Brooklyn. Um no co chise, they had nothing to do with it. But let the Koch Brothers do their spin magic and hey anyone who questions this, or dares to defend the innocent, are made out to be crazy, mental, evil and just plain stupid and delusional. Sound Familiar Donald? yeah, they are playing you like they played the American people, and to cover their tracks will more than likely create a new war right after the fixed elections, to cover their tracks. Yo Al, they did this to you too.

Trump needs to seriously question the motives of his own party. Why would anyone want a guy like Cruz in office who hates women, hates civil rights and liberties for all? You don’t get votes that way. You do come off as sleazy, lazy, desperate, and unable to run a country. Sheep might not like everything Trump says, but we hate to see him with his pants down and get a wedgie by bullies. That just does not fly with sheep. Our question for those who are trying to wag the poor dog, where is the beef as Clara Peller use to ask? Where is the proof that Saudi did anything on 911? Unless you can provide the documentation which would clearly be contradictory to every other piece of evidence that points to Israel sheep don’t think so. But hey, nice try.

No sheep are not crazy, delusional, we have the beef. By the way, the goat says he is not going to be used again for a fake war. Sheep are not haters of anyone or thing Jewish. But we know to use this as a wag the dog to fix yet another election is just wrong, and a crime against humanity here and abroad. Give the GOP enough rope and they will tamper with yet another election, ruin more decent human beings, kill innocent people here and abroad. They will start another draft to kill more innocent soldiers just to cover their tracks. Old Cruze will go along with it as he is getting bought. So tell us, how much does a new fake war go for these days? Sheep want to know?

Trump is getting played like a Stratavarious, by pro’s. he is getting swift boated, given the mother of all wedgies and told to assume the position. The public deserve better. We want an election whose votes are not by illegals, bought, whose winners did not use fake wars to cover their tracks. Wake up and smell the Hummus people, Saudi isn’t behind 911.

Sheep want to see Hillary and Bernie demand proof. Talk about a debate topic. If Obama can provide documentation that was not falsely created, prove it. Trump this is your chance to demand the beef. The debate should be how can Cruz support liars who already lied about 911 once, and is willing to do this again just to win? If Trump wants to win, he needs to demand this, and ask Hillary and Bernie to do the same. Not to, or to back this lie, shows the nature of the GOP and its beasts.

Trump is a lot of things, but a beast he isn’t. The people deserve a fair election without resorting to cheap shot tactics used when Al had the election stolen from him. If you peel the onion as sheep did, it comes down to petty theft and fraud, grand theft and murder on a major scale, blaming innocent people for crimes they didn’t commit. Covering the tracks using the goat was just cheap, and he wants a refund. I am sure the Belgians are not too happy about it either. it was their bank after all that got robbed.

But hey, anything for a win, right Cruz? Man they like to play guys like dummies. Yo, tell Gepetto if it didn’t work the first time, it won’t work this time. Sheep are not stupid. We got game and know how to use it. If the GOP want to pick on someone, why not go after something they can relate to, like their pals in Israel, they let the intel slip out of their hands. But hey, Saudi was playing with a royal flush. They are prepared to show their cards, they have nothing to hide. Bad poker players, not so much.

Trump this is your chance to call the shots. The public deserves answers. Make your next debate count, and demand Cruz produce his financial backers. If he can’t or won’t, you know he is working for those who are blaming Saudi. Who will Hillary and Bernie work for? Sheep hope its for all of the American people, those here legally, who are owed answers and a fair election.