Bertha Hates Cover Ups….

Bertha knows a cover up when she sees it, has even participated in a few. The incident with the bleach bottle and the senator’s grandson? Yeah, She felt sorry for the little guy and chose to give him the benefit of the doubt. But we know there are others who have also had to do this on job questionnaires. Bertha responded to a few.

What was her last job? Bertha was a reporter.

Does she have any strange proclivities? Define Strange.

Is she a whistleblower? Ya mean will she blow the whistle on those who are into shagging produce?

Does she have any skills? Define skills. Bertha knows how to flaunt  em like the best, studied Mata Hari for ideas.

Would she out any candidate who was into weird things? Of course, especially if they refused to answer questions about their affairs, mistresses, romps with produce, the bleach bottle, mop.

Yeah, the old girl could do a tell all about people she has known, incidents she witnessed, women who came crying to her about their senator boyfriends. But there is a difference. She won’t just randomly out anyone unless they have black mailed her. Then the claws come out, the red gloves go on, and she goes into full Bertha mode. Then its on. This is why she hates people who lie, tell stupid lies and then call it fake news. Donald, your toupee needs work.

She applauds guys like Assange, Snowdon who have taken truth-telling to new heights. And of course she is gaga over George Clooney.  She applauds Marshall Mathers as well. That boy knows how to make her smile. But its Puppy who really knows how to get liars to confess. He dangles produce before the unwitting party and before you know it, the poor sap is moaning and groaning. Puppy pulls out his squash, some melons and the sap is just begging to shag them. He even has witnessed the senator who insisted he be given a crudité platter before session. Funny how nobody got to sample his goods. Come on, we know who was romping those carrots.

So how should she approach Donald? Produce is a possibility, and we know he likes it rough and tough, so bovines are in the offing. He can’t resist melons, and groping is in his line of women. Kelly Anne and Michelle could be his next victims. Going full frontal is out as he won’t grope anything that is transgender, but perhaps Bertha can pull it out and off. Yeah, we went there. Donald, you don’t drink, but who said it can’t be placed in pastry? Bertha plans to get to the bottom of his lies.

That rogue senator can tell you that dame could get a dog to talk. Puppy is giving the evil eye. No puppy, not you. We are referring to his Irish Setter, the one who gets confused with his wife. Puppy offered her a carrot and oy the language that came out of her mouth. Harvey, we did that one for you. A darkened wine cellar, a carrot, sound familiar Donald? Er we mean Harv?

Yes, Bertha hates those who cover up, even though there are times things happen and ya need to. But she won’ t let him off the hook on the death of military. No way. If it takes lambscaping after dark, melons, carrots, she will use what is needed to get that donkey to screech. From there she will feed it to Julien, and well, you get the picture. Make no mistake, if it comes to uncovering the obvious, Bertha is on it, behind it, using it, riding it, oops, did we go too far?



Bertha Wants Answers Folks…..

While everyone is so busy talking about the president’s handling of his call to the widow of the soldier killed in Niger, you’re all missing the important part of that story…the part about what happened that night in Niger.

The story that is emerging is so much worse than anything that happened in Benghazi, but the same GOP Congress that investigated Benghazi with a fury seems to have little or no interest in this story.

Here’s what we know so far…

These soldiers went to a meeting in an area near the border with Mali. This is a well known hot spot for ISIS activity.

Our soldiers were not backed up by US Military air support. No, they were backed up by the French, who were not authorized to intervene or even fire a shot.

Our soldiers did not have armored vehicles. They traveled in pickup trucks.

Our soldiers were given faulty intel that said “it was unlikely that they would meet any hostile forces.” Of course, they walked into an ISIS ambush. It was chaotic and they took three casualties.

It took the French 30 minutes to arrive. When they did they were not authorized to help. So, a dozen of our Green Berets fought a battle with more than 50 Isis fighters, without help, for 30 minutes.

Finally, a rescue helicopter arrived, but it was not a US military helicopter. No, we apparently outsourced that job to “private contractors.” So, these contractors landed and loaded the remaining troops, the injured and the dead.

Here’s where this gets really bad…

Because they were not military, they never did a head count. That is how Sgt. La David Johnson was left behind.

That’s right…they left him behind.

According to the Pentagon, his locator beacon was activated on the battlefield, which indicates that he was alive when they left him there.

They recovered his body 48 hours later but are refusing to say where. According to his widow, she was told that she could not have an open casket funeral. This indicates that he was mutilated after being left behind on the battlefield.

This is what led to the nonsense we’re obsessing over. This is the real story. As usual, you’re allowing it to be about Trump’s distraction, but this is Benghazi on steroids.

The Trump Pentagon gave these men bad intel, no support, outsourced rescue people and then tried for more than a week to pretend it never happened. In that time, Trump spoke on many occasions and never mentioned it. He tweeted attacks on many but never mentioned these men. Only after pressure from the media has he bothered to even acknowledge these men and their service.

Ok, that was not satire but taken from a report on the Rachel Maddow Show on cable. Bertha knows this is not the first of its kind, nor will it be the last. Clearly it shows a cover up of massive proportions and the public has a right to know about it. Like it or not Sheeprants, while a satire blog, also refuses to partake in cover ups when it involves our soldiers or their families.

Sheeprants further knows like Benghazi, Camp Falcon, and others, this isn’t the first time a president covered up what should be national news and international news. We firmly believe in the first amendment and know our rights as bloggers cannot be silenced.

Bertha came across this data this am and knew it had to go rogue and public. Trump can try to silence us, call it fake news, lies, or even that we are anti-American. Nice try, sheep refuse to be silenced. This should be grounds for impeachment on multiple levels. Those of us at this blog are committed to the families of our military, and feel it is your right to get answers, not double talk.

Bertha demands answers, not fluff or garbage, but facts. The public and world deserves the truth. We are not going to walk away from this one until we get them. This isn’t fake news, this is an out-and-out cover up that needs exposure.


Bertha Addresses Sarah Huckabee….

No Vagina, Americans won’t be wishing for another 7 years of Donald Trump. Trump has not displayed the sort of presidential behaviors humans have come to expect from a POTUS. Bertha has made an extensive laundry list of reasons why this won’t ever happen.

Trump cannot separate church and state. He combines and panders to those excluding those who disagree with their stand on the issues. He has used them like a Stradivarius in a brothel.

Trump refuses to denounce his ties and support of the KKK and neo Nazi groups, calling them good people. I think if you were to speak to many in the black community, or Jewish communities, or any other ethnic group, they would have a few choice words for him.

Trump is not a leader. He cannot handle crisis without pissing off world leaders, or his own people, those in crisis such as Maria, who are in dire need of aid. It isn’t just one person who detests this guy, it’s the entire world. San Juan, our apologies, most Americans don’t feel as Trump does, nor does he speak for sheep.

Twittering instead of dealing with issues in private? While its ok once in a while to give a high-five to a team or person who has excelled, Trump cannot understand why its inappropriate to use Twitter to discuss defense strategies. That is like giving the groomers permission to lamscape and lop them off. We don’t think so.

Supporting the manhandling of women in inappropriate ways in public is just in bad form. Bertha likes to be groped as much as the rest of them, but there is a time and place, and gentlemen don’t kiss and tell and high-five discussing their locker room antics to the media. Donald, get a broom handle, a bleach bottle, hell a melon we don’t care, just leave little girls alone.

Robbing innocent people of their wages, health insurance, and tax breaks is like breaking wind in their faces. Ya just don’t go there. In case you have not noticed, humans need living wages, health care for all that is all-inclusive, not anything that is predetermined by a group of back woods hypocrites like Kimberly in Kentucky.

Going after war veterans, their families, those who lost loved ones, referring to them as if they lost the family pet? Seriously? Is he sucking on the crack pipe again? NO Homey, you can’t do that. These are humans who gave their lives, whose families lost sons, daughters, kids, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews. You spit in their faces and expect them to be there to fight Kim Hung Too Low? Sheep don’t think so.

Spying on Americans and lying about it, but refusing to admit you allowed china and Russia to spy on us, tampering with elections for personal and political gains is beyond evil, its illegal. Don’t go after our girl Hillary when you have gone beyond illegal. Where is judge Judy when we need her?

Do we need to discuss his stand on assault weapons and the NRA? Really? Enough said.

His mistreatment of gay and transgenders and his clearly obnoxious comments against them goes beyond bad taste. It is cruel, shows no amount of education, nor compassion for them or their families. They are not a mistake, nor should they be treated like misfits. They are part of this crazy quilt we call America, which gives it texture, flavor and spice.

Bertha could go on, but you get the idea. No dear, Americans don’t want this turd to remain in office. He has embarrassed the people of the US, our friends who came in wanting a better life, placing us in jeopardy of extinction. Even George who was his own means of comedy, was not nearly the embarrassment.

Rebuttal would be nice. We welcome the feedback.

Bertha Places Trump On Naughty List….

Trump is on the naughty list. Why? How long do you have?  Bertha would like to see Trump impeached. The woman is tired of having to use preparation H for her under eye bags. It’s not so bad on the eyes, but on her tushy, that is worse than mint jelly. She is tired of having to use Crisco for face cream and lambscaping with kitchen knives. Now she must worry about her healthcare in danger.

Does he have any idea how much it costs to have implants inflated? Or to have a tummy tuck and wax job at the same time? With Trumps cuts to Obama care, none of that will be covered and she will have to go back to the pen. Oy the Horror! But he has threatened to cut money to San Juan to allow his ex and third wife to have a weave war on national television. The ratings would be out the roof, and no telling what secrets might be exposed if the two dames go at it.

Those in the know are worried he cannot be handled to deal with Iran or North Korea. If he chooses to go after the little dictator, all hell will break loose and he will want to place that on national tv too for the ratings. Unlike the Apprentice, he can’t just say “You’re Fired” to Kim. He might let the kindergarten teacher give him a time out, but we know where that will leave humans.

Puppy says we need to set him up so he can’t be caught romping produce. He has it all planned. How many people would go after a suitcase full of produce? If we get him liquored up on cherry vanilla, no telling what he might do to melons. If we place a blonde wig on them, it really could be an all out groping session. We know he has lost wives over mistresses, but never produce. Melania wouldn’t see it coming, though Ivanka might.

Trump has attacked the people of San Juan, attacked the black race, Jews, middle class, so sheep think he has this coming. An all out fruiting. Sheep know there are a lot of people would pay to supply the produce, hotel rooms, even the tv time. Nobody mistreats the public and expects to get by with it. Bertha is in as well. In the throes of passion we could remove the red phone and give him the loud-speaker, so the entire staff would hear the moans and groans. Generals are looking at one another and saying, it might work. Anything to keep him away from the Iran nuclear deal, and avoiding war is fine with them.

Of course evangelicals and Fundy’s are hyperventilating. This means their racist in chief would be in dire need of a  good spanking. The idea one of their own caught with worse than someone who is gay, or transgender. Produce? Oy, he could never live that one down, and not even Crazy Kim in Kentucky could stop this one. Only thing worse in their eyes would be if it was a poor, educated, black female. Their nightmare would come true.

His misdeeds have earned him this romp with produce and this time, there is a lot of support for it. Signatures have been collected, money raised, and it’s only a matter of when before they can get it before the senate. McCain would give it a thumbs up along with Lindsey Graham, so we know Donald’s days are numbered.

And you all wanted him to be your president. We think not.

Bertha Gives Her Evaluation of Trump….

Bertha knows dementia when she sees it. She watched one of her own go thru mood swings, behaviors of grandiose behavior, narcissistic tendencies, meanness, impulse control issues, anal glaucoma, the inability to recognize inappropriate comments and behaviors. Yep, that is dementia. And while we have heard whispers of POTUS showing textbook signs, there are still those in denial who refuse to accept this and agree.

You can attribute mood swings to a lot of things, women we know you can relate as you go thru the change, transsexuals who have had them lopped off. So what is Donald’s excuse? Did he get his lopped off or is he going thru the change? Mind you we have not seen the crossed eyes you see with those who had theirs removed, though we have seen the tart, mean streak that comes before the crossed eyes.

Those who are too blinded to see the signs need to understand, this is the neutral position of several neurologists, psychologists, medical professionals that have said his symptoms are textbook. He can deny all he wants, claim this is more fake news, but when his own family can’t control him, his wife is too busy fighting her own weave war with IVANNA, senators, generals, his own cabinet members jump the ship? Guys, if it twerks like a duck, and it smells like a #$%&^ (fill in the blank), it’s a duck.

Now, there are suppositories that can help the anal glaucoma, others can bitch slap him, though we hear he likes it rough. For the rest? Oy there isn’t enough hormones that can fix the lack of education, drugs for impulse control. You seriously have to wonder is this the guy we really want with his finger on the red button? Is he the guy we should silently allow to shut down networks because he dislikes the feedback he has received?

Bertha is shaking her head. She has seen crazy, she has known crazy, but this goes way beyond crazy. This is an all out assault against his own people. Eminem did a piece that sheep find totally spot on. Bertha is bowing to Marshall. Puppy is giving him 5 paws up. Perhaps he and Kim should share a suite at the ya ya house, until they can uncross their eyes, remove the stick from their behinds, come back from planet Zogg and beg forgiveness of the American people. Nah, Trump won’t go there.

This is why it is time for the public to seriously sign petitions to let the senate say enough is enough. He attacks women, verbally and physically and brags he is the pig he pretends to be, defends Harvey, and guys like Bush. NO George, not you, we are talking Billy here. Not the behavior humans want to see in a POTUS. He is getting a sick thrill watching Ivana and  Melania battle it out, and has complained all that is missing is the mud and skimpy swim suits. Again, even when Bill was in the dog house? One never saw him drooling over his ex’s. When George got swatted by Laura, we didn’t see him laughing, mocking her. When Barry got scolded by Michelle, we didn’t see him copying her behind her back, nor her speech pattern. No, we saw him reach for that carton of Hagen Dazz.

Trump has attacked innocent people in the throes of hell in San Juan, mocking their accent, telling them a 16-36 death toll was fabulous. Not exactly the sort of thing you want to see or hear out of the mouth of POTUS. His refusal to deny his ties to the KKK is also something that wreaks of trying to polarize the whites and blacks. The guy either has a serious case of constipation, which we know can make one cranky. But it does not explain the crazy. Even when sheep lost em, went on hormones, sure we had mood swings, some of us even went on a rant chasing anything that moved that we could hump.

But there is no excuse other than full on dementia to explain Trump. It is something that comes on without warning and many can confuse with out-and-out ass hole behavior. But few can support it, and many just refuse to. Once it has gone from the toucas to the boobs, there is no going back. Trump, you have gone from  ass to tits. There is no going back.

George and Bill are wiping their brows saying Thank You GOD! Finally someone who makes us look like choir boys. Hillary has let Bill back into the pen, and Laura has stopped using the news paper to swat George. Now its just feathers and bourbon. But what to do about POTUS? Oy, there is no excuse but impeachment.

Bertha’s Gloves are Off….

Bertha has taken off her pristine, white gloves and is now wearing boxing gloves. Her paws are up, and she is in full frontal, solid, mode. Her back is arched, she is cracking her neck and is ready to take on Trump and his band of Nazis. Trump thinks he fired the first blow, but Bertha is about to do a TKO.

On Thursday, Trump passed a bill that will take millions of hard-working humans off food stamps. What does this mean for the masses? Those who are already living on starvation wages will now be starving as will their children. Yes, he is now on the same level as Dick Cheney and just as evil. Those who are in the throes of seeking employment, but who have not yet had companies reply or who are in the throws of setting up jobs for the seekers will now be caught in Trumps Nazi plan to starve the masses.

Bertha is no longer going to laugh this off, make light of it. This is serious, it is mean, and cruel and will not fix the budget. You don’t take food out of the mouths of children, hard-working adults, those who are trying. That is like taking a pacifier out of the mouth of a crying baby and telling it to naff off. Not DONE. Puppy has already been making do with melons and squash, and when available, carrots, but can no longer make his crudite platter after. It is getting dire. The little guy is getting frantic, and no telling what he will hump in place of his water melons, turnips, maybe the mop or bleach bottle, the vacuum but never Kelly Ann Conway. She is just way too much baggage for the little guy.

Bertha is tired of using Crisco for face cream, trying to use a G String for a bra, and kids inflatables for her tushy. It is getting ugly. She has bags no amount of Preparation H can handle, her fur is becoming matted, her eyes are crossing again, and she can no longer try to use mayo and eggs for face masks, much less deodorant. She is starting to smell like a rotting chick. No amount of eau de pieu can mask this. The woman needs her food stamps to purchase items that can be used to create items needed.

Trump was seen grinning ear to ear as he made this pronouncement, just as he did when he mocked the people of San Juan. Bertha is fuming and wants to belly blow his behind to wipe that smirk off his face. This isn’t a nice man. Nice men like Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Howard Dean, know the public is suffering enough already. They know a bully like Trump has no good will for his common man, only the mega rich that are tax dodgers like himself. This does not wash well with Bertha. Bertha has been fighting for the little guy for eons, and herself has been going without just to prove she is like everyone else, despite her transgender status. The LGBT community should be proud of her, as she has been a beacon for them, telling them to stand strong, sing loud and proud and be who they are, and to continue to live their fabulous lives, despite Nazis like Trump and his band of cronies.

Bertha wants to take Stumpy on, in the ring, bring him down a few pegs. The fact he could mock those in dire need in San Juan, tells us he is not human. Humans have a heart and a soul. He has neither. That he would allow the NRA to continue to hold gun shows after mass shooting, do nothing to discourage them? It speaks volumes to his lack of character and sensitivity, neither which he seems to possess. Instead, he used them as a photo-op in Vegas, the victims and families of those lost because of a gun-toting maniac.

Bertha is disgusted. She would like to take him on mano a sheep, and see who wins. Barry knows who would win, and might even choose to throw a punch or two himself. But not with fists or paws, he would use prime examples of the evil deeds and misdeeds this Nazi has inflicted and will inflict on his fellow-man.  Bertha is not a violent dame, but when she gets her hoofs up, and her fur becomes matted, bags sag to her knees with her tits that deflate? Oy, stand back folks, wear depends. She will not be silenced. She will not go down without a fight. Not if it means her fellow man, sheep are at stake. Not if their rights and civil liberties are stolen, their rights to birth control, healthcare get stolen by constipated ninnies.

Bertha is here, she is proud and is going for the total TKO. Nobody takes her from extreme poverty and puts her back in the pen. Nobody forces her to choose between ground turkey, or spam, fillet of ostrich or hot dogs. And nobody dare take away her ability to wax her fur.  5 o’clock stubble is not attractive on a sheep. Nor are sagging tits, a tush that swings when she walks, eyes that insist on re crossing due to lack of contact lenses. Poor dear keeps falling all over herself in the loo and when she drives or tries to? Humans get out of her way, as she continues to swerve and do the bop and weave.

While Trump dines on pate, the masses will be dining on crumbs they can find and share with others. Nice guy isn’t he? Sheep think not. Puppy thinks not even a suppository would help. The guy needs a total brain fart to uncross his eyes, and laser to remove his swastika. Bertha says, just lop em off. It might not change the way he sees, but it would slow him down a while. His stand of only rich lives matter,  is proof he has no soul. Sheep know a few good men who could fix that. Throw him into a city of starving people, women who are working 3 jobs to make ends meet to feed their families peanut butter, and you will see a weave war. Men stand back, they know not to piss off their already exhausted sistas and to let them at Trump? Oy that would be worth the popcorn. Well folks, sheep are with you. You are not alone.



Bertha Visits Mississippi….

Bertha made some rather interesting observations while visiting Mississippi. Apparently its ok to do your sister, but not your “wife”. It’s ok if the dog does the wife and your sister, but you cannot do your “husband”. If the husband chooses to do things to his cousin he is normal, if the dog does things to the cousin, it means a shot-gun wedding.

Puppy also found that if he carries his stash with him, he can do melons, but not the squash, and yes, you may read into what ever you wish here. He can romp carrots, but must first be sure they are not of “mixed” origin. Meaning, if a purple carrot got it on with the rest of the tribe, nobody but the terrier could have a go with any of them.

If all of them are wearing hoods and robes, it is safe to assume nobody can drive thru without knowing if they have beneficiaries in place first.  Bertha found this all to be distasteful and chose to risk throwing herself at the near by sheriff.  She was a transgendered sheep, with implants, tushy, contact lenses, wore Chanel damn well, could speak 4 languages, was waxed, and knew how to flaunt em. That should have sent the guy into cardiac arrest right there. Bertha chose to push the limits. She was with a dog who liked to do produce and didn’t care what race, species, size, nor ethnicity it was.

Out came the shotguns and the chase was on. Of course we know Donald led the pack, along with David Duke, his band of cronies. Melons was there to spin the entire event to the media. She didn’t want another San Juan incident in which Donald got caught lying to the press about the victims of Maria are doing well. They could not have a situation in which Donald et all  chased a transgender sheep thru the backwoods of Mississippi with a produce humping dog. What would his cronies at the CLUB say?

Kelly Ann is denying she was there, but we heard it from the dog not only was she there,  she was doing her husband. Oy the slander. The idea that anyone would do her is bad enough but her “husband”? Donald, you can stop coughing now, we know. Yes, Mississippi the place where you can own an ak47 to shoot Bambi and still get praise from Donald for missing him on a hunting expedition.

Is it us, or has this country gone to hell in a hand basket? Nobody should have to worry what they marry, date, see, feel or grope. If they are into produce, so be it, we say more power to them. Don’t they know we have come a long way, some longer than others just to be able to go beyond marrying the dog? Now they can marry whomever they choose, raise families, and the dog doesn’t care. Time to get out of the woods, read something other than incest monthly, and get over yourselves. If not, there are suppositories that do wonders.