Bertha is sitting on her divan, legs in a very twisted pose, showing off her toucas as she contemplates Trump. She snarfs, what she wonders rhymes with Trump? Rump, Da Bump, Frump, and Harrumph. We know she is on his shit list for Twitter, she referred to him as that laxative that just keeps giving. Oy, the putz just has no idea when he is making an ass of himself. She loves it.
Trump cannot get the idea his healthcare bill isn’t going to fly. NO senator, congressmen or woman will allow the public to suffer at his hands. He keeps trying to put lipstick on that pig, only to have the pig fart a veto. Sheep are not going to give up their ability to get implants, waxings, hormones, if needed reassignment surgeries. Lopping something off and saying sorry, ya just have to swing both ways isn’t going to work. They need to know which direction they are to swing, to and fro, or to remain a hormonal mess that goes on crying jags. No, wait, that is his press secretary, that ditsy blonde who can’t answer questions without coming off as a colossal pain in the ass. Just ask Georgie.
Trump can’t stop lying, firing people, calling people crazy, trying to bury facts. Homer, at some point you just have to admit you are a loser. He is trying to throw our girl Hillary back under the bus, and to take Bernie with her. Whatever did Bernie ever do to you? Is it because he called you a putz? Did you have to Google that? Or did he choose to state he is going to make another run in 2020? He may be older than you, but he sure isn’t senile. He knows what is what, who is who and tells the truth.
Our enemas in North Korea look at trump as if he is the female Hitler. They don’t take you seriously, refuse to be halted, continue to push boundaries. Trumps response? We are going to build a wall. Uh huh, it has to be senility. He has North Korea confused with Mexico. Do we see Mexico threatening to throw rice and beans, burritos? No, we admit they keep trying to sneak thru. But at what point have we ever complained about too much good Mexican food sneaking into this country? Yeah, we know about the gas, which is why sheep always carry Beano. And we know our friends who come in peace wearing burkas, occasionally who sport the Laurence of Arabia ensemble, and who do it well we might add. We know when they shop at Wal – Mart, they are there like the rest of Americans just trying to eek out an existence without violence. Do you ever see them mooning us? No. Trump moons people on a daily basis. No, his pants don’t come off or down, but its his mine is bigger than yours attitude that makes people laugh at him.
Bertha shakes her head when she sees Trump giving the nudge nudge, wink wink to those in his circle that cover for him. There is no cover for him. transparency is so blatant, all we see is PUTZ. Even companies are cutting ties with him. Uh No, we don’t want what he is selling, has become their battle cry. Now, those from the backwoods, who like Ted Nugent are hopped up on rage and racism, anger? They think he can do no wrong. Yeah and their wives and girlfriends are doing their best friends, the dog. Even our home fries know this dude has a few screws loose and needs to be avoided at all costs. Now, are we referring to Ted, or Trump? We will leave that one up to you. Now, we think that cat has scratched him one too many times. Again, are we referring to him or Trump?
Bertha is waiting for the trials to begin. She and Puppy have set up a private viewing section to watch Trump, his son and son – in- law, and others face the myriad of questions. He can’t say NO or risk impeachment, he can’t plead insanity, he has used that too often. What oh what will Mitch do when the Donald falls? Oy, we can see it now. The crying jags will be awful, the rats will flee the ship and nobody will take a bullet for him. Contrary to what he thinks, he is a one term, one time enema that people can’t wait to be rid of. The women in burkas are snickering. Yes ladies, sport them well, flaunt those come hither eyes, and know the sheep think you wear it well.
Unlike Cheney who by now would have started world war three, as a wag the dog, Trump is waiting to go to war when Kim Hung Too Low For Own Good, tries again. Bush Jr. is wiping his brow along with Obama and Hillary saying thank you Donald for taking the heat off of us. Sheep say you are welcome ladies. Even Bill is getting a good laugh, has climbed out of the dog cage and back to his amorata. They know Trump has become a cartoon, that feeds on racism, ignorance and arrogance. Wasn’t that what got Nixon?
Bertha is tired, she has a headache, and has decided to moon Trump in absentia. She has some great advice for Melania. RUN Forrestina Run! He can’t deport you or risk looking like the cad that he is. Girl you have him by his cojones, nicely done. Bertha is proud.
But we digress……