Bertha is fuming AGAIN! Not only could her rights to get the “PILL” at risk, so is her right to have her tits checked, her tushy examined, her body examined for potential health risks. Bertha enjoys those exams, she likes getting groped, not so much the needles, or the glove up the kazoo, but will allow it if she gets dinner and drinks first. But due to a group of constipated, uptight, backwoods, creationists, and worse…Catholics, she may have to forgo those whoopee moments.
Bertha could have the neighborhood letch give her the exams, grope her, but it would not be the same. There is something about those naughty hospital gowns, the cold, steel of the tools used, the tables with the “do me” options, that send her into a frenzy. Getting groped by a politician isn’t the same either, they are so use to feeling up tits they can’t tell one pair from another. If you are a sheep in need of a check up, that could be a problem. Doctors can tell which are real and which will chip a tooth. They can tell if there is one lump or two that needs to come out. They can tell who has been deep sea diving, or just fishing for trout, and crabs.
Alas poor sheep, your rights to getting those free groping sessions may come to an end if a certain group of politicos, hell bent on forcing their agenda on the rest of us, get their way. no more whoopee cushions after pushing out a basket ball from our cha- cha, no more pills that take those wild and bitchy moods away, no more exams to see if we need to be inflated. Nada. Bertha isn’t happy. What do old men know about cramps, or the misery of bloating. When Bertha gets the bloats, she is miserable. She looks as if she sat in an all night schwitz, without the scotch. If she has Flo visit, she is even worse. The mood swings are the worst. One minute she is sweet and kind and the next, Hannibal lector appears out of nowhere wanting to take a man’s privates and crush them like walnuts. Then the munchies set in and she will eat Puppy out of his stash, demand more, until she looks like a Macy’s Day Parade float. Then the gas sets in and oy, you need to be down wind.
But the supreme court and those damn creationists don’t care about any of that. Hell No. They want you to bend over, take it and squat in a field. Pain? Pray about it, Cramps? It’s in the bible, so it must be good. Um, ladies, I don’t think so. When you are inches away with a pair of Snip me tools near your man, and he has fear in his eyes, you need meds. he needs a restraining order. Catholic nuns don’t care, they get it on in the pews. Come on ladies as if we didn’t know, or the tunnels leading to his sworn reverence. Give sheep a break. We have seen how you sweat around certain delivery men. And sheep are to take rules from priests who can’t keep their hands off of little boys? NO. Its not going to happen, we had a meeting, they voted hell no! So that leads us to the creationists who want to force their back woods agendas on us.
Trust me, if Bertha is feeling deflated, she is going to get her groove on. If she needs those birth control pills, she is going to get them, even if you say No. No more spitting kids out like puppies, no more inner breeding because daddy wants to get his groove on with his daughters. No that is not in the damn bible. Don’t tell me sheep don’t read enough. No book would approve of a grown man doing it with his daughters and calling it GOD”S WILL. Those scissors, yeah girls, have em handy. You can always claim you were denied your meds to control those outbursts by uptight men in tights. No female jury would give you jail time. They might even award you a 72 million dollar award for weeding out the masses.
Just because a group of over grown yahoos are running for office does not give them the right to assume they can dictate anything to sheep or women. Have they met Ginsberg? Or Hillary? Do you really think they will just say ok to anyone who makes sheep eyes at them? Don’t think so. Be afraid, be very afraid. The time has come for sheep and women to rebel and rebel we will. The world may have gone crazy, and its time for us to misbehave.
If sheep allow grown men to dictate how women receive health benefits or obtain reproductive healthcare, guys, the days of wine and roses is over. No more getting your groove on, blowing anyone or thing, and NO sheep won’t be used to give you relief. We heard about you pervs. If your cave woman wants to be treated like that, that is her issue, but sheep and women are not having any of it, no how, no way, we had a meeting and its not going to happen. Yes, we have voiced this before, but you didn’t take the hint. Donald, Take the hint. Melania won’t let you force her back into the dark ages. Do you really think she carries all of those scissors just to trim her hair? Melania, sheep have your back and front. No birth control pills, no pap smears, no groping by doctors, no sex. get the picture?
Ladies raise your right paws, say after us…. I won’t let any man or back woods creationist dictate how my body is treated. I won’t let them force my doctors to shutter their doors who want to give me birth control pills, the morning after pill, allow me to get an emergency D&C or other life ending procedure while they are trying to save my life, or that of a child. Bad things happen to good sheep who behave too. I won’t vote in any male or female who does not have my back, respects my right to choose, choices, behaviors. I will keep remove it all if they try to block me from getting checked for lumps, or cancers anywhere in my body. I will not be forced to get bloated, the munchies unless pot or the good stuff is offered in exchange.
Guys, you can try to take the sheep out of the woman, but you can’t take the woman out of the sheep.