Bertha needs to address something with men. NO matter what your little general is begging for, unless a woman agrees to salute, the answer is NO. Apparently some men didn’t get the memo, or chose to ignore it. Matt, Harvey, Donald, Al, Bill. We know Bill isn’t on that list at present, but we need to keep him on his toes and off his feet. That’s what they said. lol.
Sheep understand, as far back as childhood, men are told be macho, go for the gusto, if it is there, grab it and hump it. The problem is, it wasn’t the bleach bottle, produce, trees, hell anything that was stagnant. They took this to mean, if it had tits, a toucas, wasn’t beaten with the ugly stick, HUMP IT. Well, up until now you have gotten by with this, and even puppy is disgusted. If the little guy humped as much as you all, we would never see him and he would be blind. Instead he gets his ya ya’s with produce. Nothing like a good romp with carrots to get a good morning started. According to him, it serves two purposes, not only do you get your rocks off, you have a nice crudité platter for later.
Bertha likes to be groped, she likes to be humped, but there is a time and place for it, and unless she has given the green light, steer clear of her. You may end up losing your manhood, and walking and talking like a dame. George is that you? Kidding George, we know you were a man of your word. Every time Bertha turns on the news its a new perv who got it caught.
Guys, remember the old adage, you have two hands? Begin introducing them, from now on if you so much as look at a female wrong, or breathe on her? Oy, slap and tickle will take on a whole new meaning. If you are not bitch slapped one way you will be another. Either way, women have it out for you. You have been warned.
So what caused this, not enough time with the mop? The bleach bottle not doing it for you? If you are anywhere and someone even thinks you are entertaining performing the hamster dance, you have trouble. If the little guy needs to break loose, find the nearest piece of produce and have a go. We won’t tell. Sheep don’t care if its melons, oops, we used her nick name, or carrots, squash, just don’t let the hamster out of the cage. Hell if there is a nice bottle of Tide around, use it, abuse it, we don’t care. Just keep the little guy out of the public’s view.
But that didn’t stop some men, as they still had to get their ya ya’s on. The prairie home pervert was accused of being kind, patting a woman on the back, and wham! Now he is public enema number one. The Horror. Matt we knew was a little letch, and Harvey was a horn toad on the make. Conyers we think wasn’t really trying to make a grab, he was just trying to recall what it was used for, that it could be used, was proud of that fact and insisted on showing it off to his associate. Sadly for him, she was not as impressed. Did that make him a pervert? No.
Russell Simmons, also caught with the hamster out of the cage. In his case, the guy got a bad wrap from his ex-wife. He got reamed that way and was trying to remember how to do that again, with someone who gave a damn. Russell, the problem was, you should have given the girl a chance to say NO, or Not Tonight. Oy, how the mighty have fallen.
They are falling literally on their swords, and it’s no longer a laughing matter. If they so much as look at a female she is liable to slam him with a harassment suit. Sheep feel for men, we even have felt men up, down, and everywhere in between. But there is a time and place. Donald doesn’t care if he openly discusses his indiscretions in public. The key here is not to discuss anything with the words pubic in public. They need to add him to the list of gropers and sinners.
Ladies, he isn’t worth it, trust sheep. The guy is a toad, he is a slime doggy, who makes Bill look like a saint. Yes we said that. Bill likes women, got caught with one, and even admitted to liking cigars, but OY GAVALT ! Donald openly talked about how women were so easy, how he could grab them by the kitty and they would service him. That wasn’t one he was talking about unlike Bill, that was plural. Sure, Bill got his toucas caught in the bleach bottle with Hillary, (bad choice of words), But Donald admits to groping any female that moves. He degrades them in public. Bertha wants a go with him, not to please him, rather to give him a sharp bite in the hamster den. She is totally disgusted by him.
Guys, you make your brothers look bad. You are grown beings who should know how to treat women. At least buy them dinner first before grasping at melons. Kellie Ann is looking around, who me? Sarah you have a chance to fix this, run, throw on your Nike’s and Run. Don’t say you were not warned. Don’t come crying to Bertha if he makes a grab. What were you beaten with the ugly stick? No you were not, ergo, you are not safe. Run!
As for those who still insist on doing the hamster dance in public, who insist on showing it off to whoever will pay attention? One word, DON’T. If you need to express yourself, that is what the bleach bottle and mop are for, what water melons are for, just don’t bring it around women without an invite. NOW, and invite isn’t your interpretation, NO it is not. Unless you see her giving a green light and she is wearing a catcher’s mitt? I don’t think so. And you say sheep are perverted…..The Horror!